What Lobsters Taught Me About Growth, Discomfort, and Leadership

Lunenberg, Nova Scotia

Recently, we traveled to Nova Scotia. If you haven't made the trip, I highly recommend it. There’s something grounding about the Maritimes. We found cooler air, coastal beauty, and a slower pace where life moves with the tides. Conversations stretch out, and even the busiest places seem to breathe differently. The trip provided time to rest, recharge, and reconnect. We loved the change of pace and, yes, we ate very well. However, amid the seafood and the scenery, I found myself reflecting on more than just the menu after learning something unexpected about how lobsters grow.

What Is Molting—and Why Should You Care?

Lobsters can’t grow inside their shells. At some point, their tough outer layer becomes too tight. When that happens, they crack it open, crawl out, and spend a few days hiding while their new shell forms. It’s called molting—and it’s as raw and risky as it sounds.

Here’s why it matters: it’s not just a crustacean survival trick. It’s a perfect analogy for growth. If you're uncomfortable with your growth trajectory, read on.

• Did you just graduate? You’re molting.

• Maybe you just got promoted? Molting.

• Did you recently start your own business? Yup, you're definitely molting.

• Are you leading a bigger team than ever before and wondering if you’re in over your head? Yes, that’s molting too.

Growth doesn’t feel like a pep talk. It feels like your shell cracking open while you hope nobody notices how exposed you are.

The Discomfort You Feel Is the Signal, Not the Problem

We’ve all been there: the role that used to fit now feels restrictive. The systems you built with pride are creaking under pressure. The confidence that once came naturally now shows up late, or not at all.

It’s easy to assume something’s wrong.

But as lobsters show us, discomfort is part of the deal. It’s what Brené Brown might call “the vulnerability phase" - the place between where you were and where you’re headed. It’s not weakness. It’s growth in progress. Sometimes it's messy.

The Hiding Phase Is Real

After shedding their shell, lobsters don’t celebrate. They retreat under a rock, soft and exposed. For a few days, they’re defenseless - no claws, no armor, no appetite. They just wait.

Does this sound familiar?

Sometimes, this is what it feels like when you start a new job and suddenly feel like an imposter. Or when you leave the corporate world to build something of your own to realize you’re truly ‘on your own’.

If you’ve let go of your old shell—but your new one hasn’t hardened yet. That’s the messy middle.

And it’s normal.

This phase doesn’t show up on resumes. It only shows up to tap on your shoulder late at night, and leave you questioning your choices. You start wondering if you’ve made a mistake and start reviewing job postings “just in case.” It shows up in moments when your calendar is full but your confidence is empty. But here’s the truth - if you’re in the messy middle, you’re not doing it wrong. You’re just between shells.

“What Got You Here…”

Leadership expert Marshall Goldsmith wrote a whole book called “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There.”  If you’ve just stepped into a new role, this should be written on your bathroom mirror.

The strategies, habits, and comfort zones that worked for you at one stage might actually hold you back at the next. That’s molting. It’s not just about learning new skills, it’s about letting go of what’s no longer helping.

It isn’t failure. It's evolution.

Two Claws, Two Roles

Lobsters have two distinct claws:

• The crusher claw: strong, blunt, used to break shells and assert dominance

• The pincher claw: quicker, more agile, used for detail work and sensing

In leadership, you need both, especially during transitions.

Sometimes you need the crusher for bold moves, decisive actions, and establishing clear boundaries. Other times, the pincher is what you need to listen, adjust, or finesse the nuance.

“If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.”In leadership, if all you ever use is the crusher claw, you risk turning every challenge into a confrontation.

Sure, confrontation has its place. It can cut through clutter, clarify priorities, and create necessary tension. But it’s not always the best strategy and any HR lawyer could point out the limitations over the long haul. Often, cooperation gets you further, especially when trust, alignment, or long-term relationships are on the line.

If you’re restructuring your org chart or exiting a difficult client relationship, you may need that crusher. However, if you’re aligning a new team or onboarding a first-time manager you'll likely want more finesse, and less force.

Knowing which claw to lead with is what separates reactive managers from adaptive leaders.

Leadership expert Ron Heifetz, in his books "Leadership Without Easy Answers" and "The Practice of Adaptive Leadership", emphasizes that some challenges can’t be solved with old tools. You can’t always crush your way through change.

You have to sense, adapt. You need to evolve.

If You’re Feeling the Squeeze, It Might Be Time to Shed the Shell

Are you running a business that’s quietly outgrown the systems that once served it? Maybe you've taken over a team, and suddenly all eyes, and expectations, are on you. Maybe you're building something entirely new, with no safety net and no blueprint. Or maybe you’re simply waking up with a low-grade resentment that stems from frustration because what used to work just ... doesn’t ... anymore.

That tightness you feel? That’s your shell and it’s not failing you. It's done its job. After all, It got you this far.

Molting doesn’t mean starting over. It means stepping out, and stepping forward. Exposed. Evolving. Ready to lead from a new level.

Final Thought

You’re not stuck. You’re just molting.

If you’re feeling raw, uncertain, or like you’ve stepped into something bigger than you expected, that's good. You can't change what you don't acknowledge. That’s growth. And here’s the truth: those feelings have nothing to do with age, gender, experience, or title. Molting doesn’t care how long you’ve been in the game. It just shows up when you’re on the edge of becoming something more.

It rarely feels clean. It often feels like doubt, like pressure, like you’ve taken off the armor before the new one’s ready. That’s the process. Embrace it. As the locals in Nova Scotia would say "smooth seas never made a skilled sailor."

So take a moment. Hide under your rock if you need to. Let your instincts catch up with your ambition. Let your new shell form.

And when you’re ready, emerge. Wiser. Stronger. More capable than before and leading with both claws.

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Pivotleader's Norm Adams is a Certified Professional Business Coach with three decades of experience working alongside business owners, indigenous leaders, governments and industry. He knows that growth isn’t always pretty—but it beats staying stuck. Reach out at norm@pivotleader.com